


Wavebreak

by Eternal22



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:13:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24762913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternal22/pseuds/Eternal22
Summary: “Pearl, I gotta tell ya something. When I first joined up with the Crystal Gems I thought ‘you’re telling me this little Pearl is the most feared fighter in the rebellion?’” she slapped the ground and laughed, “Man did you show me wrong! Ever since the first day, I could barely lay a blade on you. You really are something,” she shook her head, smiling softly.Pearl blushed, her own laughter tinkling like chimes, “They do say looks can be deceiving,”
Relationships: Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 45





	Wavebreak

Ocean waves broke along the shores outside of the beach house. Sea spray sizzled over the sand as dolphins played in the distance. An occasional shell washed over the straight, turning gently over it’s bed as the water drew back to surge forth once more. 

Pearl stood watching the spectacle, spindly arms resting on the railing which was still damp with last night's rain. Warm kisses of air peppered her face as her fingers curled around her ceramic mug. It had been a gift from Steven, from some movie place called Berrytree, that he sent shortly after he heard that she’d started having tea in the mornings. 

The Earth ritual still perplexed her. How throwing random plants into a cup of water and drinking the results came to be such an honored tradition eluded her. Sure, she learned the how, the when, the where, but the deeper reasoning of the why were a mystery. It didn’t seem like a logical thing, for creatures whose bodies could be poisoned by so much, to do. 

Even so, she had to admit it was nice. The warm liquid trailing down your throat as woodsy aromas caressed your nose was as pleasant as it was versatile. As such, she made it a point to try a new flavor every week. After which she and Amethyst would have a debate, oftentimes exhausting, comparing the tea itself to the bags or soaked refuse. The purple gem always stood by her conviction that the gritty leavings were the best part, a sentiment that made Pearl gag. 

She sipped at her tea, a slightly perfume tasting lavender with tangy nodes of orange and lemon. So much had changed since Steven left, she could imagine just how excited he would be to see it all when he came back. A second beach house had been built around the base of the light house, a bizarre amalgamation of curves and clean lines birthed from the brains of many gems. It stood as a vacation residency for anyone who wished to use it. 

The statue of Obsidian had been cleaned and rebuilt by Bismuth and her crew. It towered over her, gleaming, coated in a translucent sheen to protect it through the years. It wasn’t as it used to be. It wasn’t Pink, but Steven. What the five of them had remade not so long ago. Some days it was a welcome sight, yet on others it seemed imposing; glaring down at Pearl with judgement and accusation. 

The pale gem shuttered and drained the rest of her tea. She turned and hummed to herself as she went inside to wash the mug. Pearl moved silently, as Greg had fallen asleep on the couch and she didn’t want to wake him. He had installed a new dishwasher, which suffered a very rapid incident with Peridot. He fixed it, but was up late and now she didn’t trust it with her personal things. As she worked, she noted that neither Amethyst or Garnet appeared to be home. Garnet made sense, Ruby and Sapphire both had classes today. Amethyst, she figured, would be playing games in her room. 

While she was drying and putting the mug away, her head shuttered and a blaring ring blast forth. Panicked, she raised a hand to catch her phone as it emerged from the gem on her forehead. The cool plastic vibrated in her hand, “11 AM Spar with Bismuth. Alpha training ruins No. 2” displayed on the illuminated screen. Pearl smiled as she put away the mug and sent her phone back to its place. Behind her, Greg sat up and leaned his arms on the back of the chair. 

“Out for your daily spar with Bismuth?” he asked. 

“Yes, I should be back in a few hours. Sorry if that woke you,” 

“No problem, you’ll be back in time for Uno tonight won’t you?”

“You know it,” Pearl responded, firing a pair of finger guns at him as she stepped onto the warp pad. Such gestures still felt foreign to her at times, no matter how much she tried to loosen herself up. She was better at it, she thought, but she was still trying to let go of centuries of tension and guard. 

And Pink, she mused as she stepped from the warp pad and onto the dirt floor. Everyone here, wanting to be free, finding themselves, and growing away from the one they thought was both savior and monster. Yet so many times Pearl caught herself wanting Pink, never anything more or less than Pink.

Near the ruined steps of the old Colosseum stood Bismuth, stretching out her giant frame with a grin sprawled over her face.

“Pearl, I’m glad you made it!” she called. 

Pearl grinned, that was always Bismuth's greeting, albeit phrased differently from day to day. She was always happy to see Pearl, as if maybe someday Pearl wouldn’t show up. Just as Bismuth always dropped what she was doing to stride over and give Pearl a solid clap on the back. 

“Man, you wouldn’t believe how strong Peridot’s metal control powers have gotten. She almost took me out last night,” Bismuth laughter roared, hand still warm on Pearl’s back, “Almost,” 

Pearl rested her head on her friend's shoulder, missing the blush that flew across the other gem's face. She ached at how familiar the softness was despite the muscle, yet felt a twinge of comfort from it at the same time. 

“I’m sure we’ll hear all about it tonight. Peridot and Lapis are coming over for Uno tonight, and we all know how that gem can’t resist regaling us with a new tale. You’re welcome to join us if you want, it may just keep the embellishments to a minimum,” Pearl said, chuckling.

Bismuth grinned back at her, “I have no idea what Uno is, but I’m in!”

“Great!” Pearl said, stepping away from Bismuth and stretching as she worked her way over to her spot. She thought she caught a hint of something in the gem’s eye, but dismissed it as Bismuth’s usual shyness over new Earth social functions. 

“Are you ready to get started?” she asked.

“I’ve been ready for this all morning,” Bismuth replied, morphing her right hand into a scimitar.

Pearl summoned her spear and readied herself, poised lightly on the balls of her feet. Trickles of adrenaline dripped into her being, her body tingled and felt full of a kind of life she kept in check as she bowed to her opponent. 

They sprung. Blurs of purple and white streaking towards each other without restraint. Pearl dodged a swipe from the other gem’s sword. Her spear flowed up from her side towards Bismuth, only to be knocked away by her other arm, now a shield. She spun and they clashed again, parrying with growing speed. Amazed, Pearl noted that Bismuth's attacks were less stiff and more fluid, like the stream in the woods near where Cat Steven was found. She had realized just how much Bismuth was learning from her during these sessions. 

Pearl felt the air whirl around her as Bismuth dodged a trick maneuver that would have caught her weeks before. Her form was good too, weight more balanced throughout her body rather than locked behind her weapon. It added a kind of beauty to the giant’s movements, highlighting muscles as they twisted and turned to meet the needs of their host. 

The sun shifted positions above the combatants, moving their shadows as they danced around the others' weapons. Bismuth's beaming face glistened, eyes locked on Pearl, calculating her next move. She stepped forward, but it was a little too much. Pearl noticed and feinted, bringing a leg behind the other gem. 

The ground beneath Pearl’s feet trembled as Bismuth fell. She leapt, one foot on the small rise of Bismuth’s chest. Tenderly she tapped the tip of her spear against her opponent's gem.

“Checkmate” she teased, breaths coming out in heavy puffs. 

Color rose to Bismuth’s cheeks, eyes stunned and sparkling. 

“As impressive as always,” she chuckled.

Pearl smiled, “Well, I did have centuries of practice,” in one motion she dismissed her weapon and removed her foot from her friends chest.

The large gem rolled to a seat and wiped her brow. Pearl sat with her, listening to the low rumble of laughter in her chest.

“Pearl, I gotta tell ya something. When I first joined up with the Crystal Gems I thought ‘you’re telling me this little Pearl is the most feared fighter in the rebellion?’” she slapped the ground and laughed, “Man did you show me wrong! Ever since the first day, I could barely lay a blade on you. You really are something,” she shook her head, smiling softly. 

Pearl blushed, her own laughter tinkling like chimes, “They do say looks can be deceiving,” 

Bismuth nodded, reaching into her gem and pulling out a large mason jar. The metal hissed as the cap was unscrewed and tucked away. Condensation beaded and slid along the glass as half of the contents, turned gold by the sun, swirled down the gems throat. Bismuth chewed with rapture as the string of a teabag dangled from the corner of her mouth. 

Pearl clenched her teeth, willing herself not to gag at the atrocity happening before her. She could imagine the way Amethyst would laugh if she could see her now. How on Earth could Bismuth manage chewing on all that grit?

“So...uh, you like tea too, huh?” she asked.

Bismuth slurped the string down and nodded, “You bet I do! Sun brewed with heaps of sugar,” 

“You know you’re supposed to remove the bags, right?”

“But that’s the best part! Gives it texture,” the giant downed the other half of the jar and stowed it away.

“You don’t say,” Pearl said, fidgeting.

“Yeah! Did you know that there are drinks with seeds in them? Oh, and get this! Tea with little chewy bubbles in it! They call it, Bubble Tea,” Bismuth cackled, “These humans really do think of everything, don’t they?”

“Hmm, chewy bubbles don’t sound terrible,” Pearl mused, “They aren’t made of tea leaves are they?”

“I don’t think so, the human I talked to said they’re really soft and sweet. She’s opening a shop next week that sells it,” 

“Soft and sweet, huh….that actually sounds quite nice,” It sounded more than nice, if she was being honest with herself. The way Bismuth talked about it made it sound both comforting and fun at the same time. Something she hadn’t really found much of, in combination, since Pink. 

“You wanna go?” Bismuth asked rather quickly, bringing a deep purple flush to her face, “I mean, if you’re not already busy. I-I was already planning on going, but you can come too if you don’t have anything going on with…”

Pearl drew a hand to her mouth, breath warm against her palm as she chuckled into it, “I’d love to” she placed a hand over Bismuth’s, “You know how much I like finding more new Earth things to try. Maybe squishy tea bubbles will be my thing,” she added, making what she hoped would pass off as a cool grin.

Bismuth tensed under her touch, face contorting slightly as her color started to deepen. The large gem laughed and ran a hand under her thick hair.

“Really? Great, I’ll uh, text you when I know when I’m going,” she looked away, lumbering to her feet as though she had forgotten something, “I um, gotta get back to Little Homeworld. I told one of the uh...Topazes that I would help them with moving some….stuff…I’ll see you later though!”

The buckles on her overalls jangled as she jogged to the warp pad, waving as she vanished upward in a blend of light. 

* * *

“I’ve never seen her like that, Garnet,” Pearl said. She was back in the beach house, sitting on the couch with arms draped over her knees, “I hope she’s alright. She left before I could ask,”

“She’ll be alright,” Garnet replied, smirking.

Pearl leveled her gaze at the other gem. She was sprawled against the back of the couch, arms stretched across the back. Her posture was soft and lax. There was still a hint of that smirk there, curling up slightly more to the right. Pearl was positive that Garnet knew more than she was letting on.

“It will all come out in time,” the fusion added.

Pearl sighed and rose, stretching her lithe form. 

“I suppose you won’t even give me a hint?” she asked.

Garnet pursed her lips and thought for a moment, seconds slipping from existence just as the condensation from Bismuth’s jar had. 

“Nope,” she declared with a mischievous grin. 

“Figures,” Pearl muttered, shaking her head. 

Boards creaked under her feet as she moved into the kitchen. She took solace in the smooth texture of a ceramic bowl as she pulled it down, weight sagging in her arms. She pulled her focus to the crisp crinkle of a bag of chaps and the crescendo of clinks they made as she emptied the bag. The edges poked into her fingers as she balled the bag up and tossed it into the waste-bin at her side. A second bowl was filled, then a third, a forth, and finally a fifth once she factored Bismuth in. Greg would be home soon with soda and juice. Didn’t he say something about watermelon? She’d have to cut that before everyone came. 

Pearl looked up from her musing to see Garnet watching, motionless.

“He’ll be here in five minutes, you’ll have plenty of time,” 

* * *

Pearl had more than plenty of time, during which she cut the melons, perfectly ripe with a hollow echo when knocked on, swept the floor (twice), mopped (also twice), and dusted the fixtures. More than once Pearl thought about her encounter with Bismuth that day. Her eagerness to leave, the uneasy way she reacted when Pearl touched her, the strange way all of that bothered Pearl so deeply. Try as she may, she couldn’t understand, nor could she fathom why she would occasionally blush when thinking about their fight. The strength of Bismuth and the way she looked as she lay pinned under Pearls foot and spear. 

All this time Garnet sat, at ease and sometimes humming to herself.

“You could help, you know?” Pearl said, making another pass of the mop under Garnet’s legs, now propped on the coffee table.

“I offered to cut the melons,” 

“With the cleaning, I’ve been doing it all,” 

“You don’t have to,” Garnet said, calm and certain, “I saw to it that Amethyst and Greg cleaned away their mess for tonight, just like I took care of my own while you were out sparing,” 

Pearl flushed, she hadn’t noticed that the usual mess of blankets were gone from the couch, or that all of Amethyst’s assorted piles of stuff were nowhere in sight. As for Garnet, well, she didn’t really make much of a mess to clean up in the first place. 

“You work yourself too much. Our friends are coming over to play Uno and eat snacks, not marvel over a perfectly clean house,” 

“Yeah, just take it easy for a bit,” Greg said, coming in from the bathroom wearing a fresh pair of shorts and his Guitar Dad shirt, “Like I always say to Steven, if every pork chop were perfect…”

“We wouldn’t have hot dogs,” Pearl finished, smirking and giving a half eye roll. She didn’t exactly like hot dogs, but still understood the sentiment.

“Exactly,” Garnet said, “Now, why don’t you sit down and relax before everyone gets here,”

“Oh, alright,” Pearl said as she put the mop away.

The couch caved slightly as she sat, her hands on her knees as chords from Greg's guitar hummed through the air. Garnet’s head nodded, a buoy in the sea, as he played. Pearl drummed her fingers on her knees as her eyes darted between the two.

“Erm, what now?” she asked.

Garnet pulled her arms behind her head and smiled at Pearl, “Anything _you_ want. Read a book, do a crossword puzzle, or just sit and feel,” 

The way said it was so smooth. Casually, as if it was as easy as blinking, or as natural as breath was to humans. To just hang responsibilities out on the line to dry for a bit as you sunned your body in the sand. 

Pearl leaned back into the couch. Her arms folded along her stomach and let her eyes drift close. Her mind took her hand and led her back to Bismuth. So gangly and bumbling before she left. Pearl felt this wasn’t exactly what Garnet had meant when she said to “just feel” but here she was, willing or not.

She analyzed the day, picking it apart like a stubborn hangnail. Bismuth had been so happy to see her, naturally, Bismuth was happy to see just about anyone. She had that zest for people and life that drew you in no matter how much of an outcast you felt. 

The skirmish was amazing. She’d never seen such grace from her old friend. It was clear from the amount of effort she put in that she found Pearl to be a worthy opponent. It impressed her deeply, the level of dedication that Bismuth put in, and the payoff was breathtaking. It was a whole side of the gem that Pearl didn’t know existed. 

Then there was the way Bismuth gazed at Pearl when she had pinned her. She looked so raw. Awe, pride, and what seemed to be a bit of tenderness, all on full display in a moment of transparency. Now that she thought about it, didn’t Bismuth always give Pearl that look when she’d been bested? And what had she felt, defeating the gem four times her size? Was pride all she felt when she towered over her, pinned and vulnerable?

Pearl traveled a spiral staircase in her mind. Gentle worry as Bismuth carried her to the springs when she’d been cracked in battle, the most confident smile when Pearl was back to back with her on the field. How she’d glance away when Pearl leapt into Pink's arms. Her delighted, shocked reaction when Pearl hurled into her arms upon her return after centuries. That iris blush when she was told what catching the bouquet at Ruby and Sapphire’s wedding meant. 

Pearl felt the heat in her face, as well as a damp prickle in the corner of her eyes. Startled, they snapped open, hastily looking to Garnet and Greg. Greg still strummed, head bobbing with eyes closed. Garnet hadn’t moved a bit. If the fusion saw Pearl’s show of emotion, she didn’t let on. 

Pearl rubbed her eyes, wiping the scant evidence away before anyone could notice. As she pulled her head up her eyes fell on the space where the portrait of Rose, of Pink, used to hang, serene and steadfast, filled to the brim with secrets. Guilt gripped her, and a quiet pain burned deep within. How could she tiptoe around such feelings over Bismuth? Yet how could she hold onto such feelings about Pink? The one who saved the Earth and set gems on a Path to freedom, but left so much pain and destruction in her wake...why was there no easy answer to her feelings? How could she even begin to reason why Pink bubbled Bismuth and hid her away. Did Pink feel guilty? Was it out of self preservation or lingering love for her diamond siblings? No matter how Pink could have spun it, was it right?

Even though they had been closed in the image, Pearl could feel an accusatory stare from the vacant image of Rose. She had only asked for loyalty and Pearl gave it gladly, even after all they’d been through. Pearl had never doubted or questioned.

A sharp tone broke her thoughts, making her start. Her shadow flickered and died in the light as three figures warped into the house.

“And no matter how bad you want it to be true, I’m telling’ ya Perri, there is no Loch Ness monster. It was just a corrupted Tanzanite,” Amethyst asserted. 

“How can you be sure there’s no Loch Ness monster?” Peridot persisted. 

“Girl, I was there!” Amethyst shouted.

“But did you figure in the odds of there being a corrupted Tanzanite _and_ a Loch Ness monster?”

“Why would I? That’s Sapphire’s gig, not mine. And besides, we had to take on a corrupted Lapis too! She threw every drop of water in that hole at us and let me tell you, first hand, that there was nothing but a bunch of fish, trash, some skeletons, and a pissed off Tanzanite,” 

“Be that as it may…”

Amethyst groaned and appeared, upside down, over the back of the couch. She tapped her calloused knuckles on Pearl’s shoulder, “You tell her, P, you were there too,”

Pearl threw an arm over the couch, twisting to face Peridot. The tiny gem stood next to Lapis, who was obviously trying to hide a smile. 

“Sorry Peridot, I’m afraid Amethyst is right, for once,”

“Wha…” Amethyst started.

“It was only a corrupted Tanzanite,” Pearl continued, pensive,” Though I suppose the humans didn’t know anything about gems, so to them it must have been a monster. Perhaps that Tanzanite and the Loch Ness monster were one in the same,” 

Peridot scowled, turning slightly when Lapis placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“Let it go, Peridot,” she said, a sweet smile lingering on her lips, “Maybe we can fly over there someday and check,” she added, winking to the others in the room.

The tiny gem brightened immediately, “Can we go tomorrow? Next week? How about next month? We’re due for a vacation anway, right Lapis?” She exclaimed. Lapis nodded, trembling with silent mirth.

“We’ll iron out all the details later,” Lapis assured her.

Pearl watched them with a small frown, “Where is Bismuth? Is she still coming?” 

Amethyst moved to sit by the table, grabbing a bowl of chaps, “She was helping the Heaven and Earth Beetles move their house again. Shouldn’t take too long,” she said, nonchalantly shoveling handfuls of chaps into her mouth.

At that moment, the warp panel fired up again. 

“Ohohoho! Speak of the bevel,” Amethyst chuckled, spewing fragments of chaps everywhere. Everyone looked at her, puzzled, save for Greg who gave her an iffy “eh,”

“Come on,” she defended, “Bevel, she’s a builder, get it?”

“Oh I got it...it’s just,” Greg held his hand out, flat, and swiveled it up and down. Amethyst folded her arms over her chest and snorted.

Bismuth came into view, clad in her white button up and slacks. A hint of cleavage could be seen between her gem and the fabric, making a subtle change to the multi-color gem that left Pearl perplexed. 

“Right on time, Garnet said, grinning, “I’m ready to kick all of your butts,” 

Greg laughed, “Which one of you would that be?” he asked her.

“Me,” she responded, leaning forward to seize a handful of chaps.

“Well, I’ll have you know I am an Uno master,” Greg said, shuffling the deck as everyone crowded around the table. Garnet rose as Bismuth walked over, gesturing to her now open spot next to Pearl, “Here you are, Bismuth, you can have the couch,” 

“You sure?” Bismuth asked, “This is your house,”

“And you are our guest, besides, I have to make sure Amethyst and Peridot don’t try to cheat,” 

Amethyst, now sitting by Greg, shrugged and popped the tab on a soda, carbonation escaping with a sharp hiss. 

“Don’t worry too much about Peridot, Garnet, I’ve got my eye on her,” Lapis said, one arm draped lazily over a raised knee. Peridot scowled at her.

“How do we know you’re not going to use your future vision to cheat?” Peridot accused.

“Because I like a challenge,” the fusion said. She dropped into a cross legged seat between Amethyst and Peridot. 

Bismuth’s laugh rang hearty and clear, echoing through Pearl’s ears like the falls of an anvil. 

“You better watch out, Garnet, Peridot may be little, but she is _feisty_ ,” Bismuth said. 

The change gladdened Pearl and removed some of the weight she’d been carrying. The gem seemed to be back to her regular self, well enough to banter and rib on Peridot at least. Though the phantom presence of Pink still lingered, Pearl smiled, feeling warmed and relieved. 

“I’m so glad you could make it, Bismuth,” Pearl said, “We’ve really got a full house tonight, and we’re not even playing Yahtzee!” 

“Ugh, please don’t mention Yahtzee again,” Lapis groaned, fingers lightly entwined with Peridot’s. 

“Yeah, we still haven’t found those other two die,” Amethyst added.

Bismuth turned to Pearl, arms flopped lightly over her thighs, “What’s a Yahtzee, and what happened last time?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you about it sometime though, if you want to hear it that is,” Pearl replied, heart fluttering despite every plea to remember Pink.

“I’d like that,” Bismuth said, picking up the cards as Greg dealt them, “I really have been missing out,” 

“Well, now that Little Homeworld is complete, maybe you can join us more,” she blurted out, feeling light and giddy. The prospect of spending more time with the large gem, aside from sparring, thrilled her.

“That would be great,” Bismuth was beaming, a minute note of color showing in her cheeks, “I need to find some hobbies besides fighting and building,”

A comforting breeze blew in from the open windows and door. Pearl helped Bismuth through the first couple rounds of cards being laid down, drawn, and laid down once again. She launched into strategic tirades on the perfect times to reverse order or make someone draw more cards, showing Bismuth where her opponents weak points lie.

Lapis proved to be a fierce competitor, her silence clearly was not just shyness or a lack of things to say. She interjected and bantered during breaks, but her focus never wavered while a play was in progress. Amethyst and Peridot constantly sought to cripple the others' game, leaving Garnet caught up in between while Greg howled at their antics.

During those first few rounds, everything seemed to melt away, slipping through the floorboards to the dark underbelly of the house. By the fifth round, Bismuth had found her stride in the game and was holding her own against the others without Pearl’s help. Pearl had even laughed, instead of screamed with rage, when a soda can exploded into Greg’s face and over the floor. 

“Uno!” Peridot yelled, slapping four cards, one of each color, onto the table. 

“Peridot, you can’t just say Uno and put all your cards down,” Lapis said through bits of laughter, wiping away a tear with her knuckle.

“On the contrary, my dear. The name of the game is ‘Uno’. ‘Uno’ is the Spanish word for ‘one’ and as I have clearly laid out _one_ of each color card, a rare feat given the number of cards in the deck and the number of players at this table, I win with the ultimate Uno!” Peridot stood, tiny fists raised skyward as Greg shook his head.

“You gotta declare house rules at the beginning of the round, Peridot,” Greg explained.

“What are you talking about? I already know no shoes on the furniture, don’t steal Cat Steven’s food, wash your hands after going to the bathroom,” she checked each rule off her fingers as she listed them, “Are you saying _I_ can make rules for _your_ house!?”

“No, not those kinds of house rules,” Greg started, “Look, it’s like this…”

All the merriment and banter seemed to drift into a sudden haze. Pearl gripped her cards tighter as the air grew sluggish and heavy. So swift and unexpected, just like always, and here she was surrounded by others yet not a soul to turn to. Volley was three quarters and a few cubits of a galaxy away, escorting some of the distorted gems to Yellow Diamond to be repaired. What brought it on this time? Were three chaps too many for her?

There was a calculated calmness as she laid her cards fanned out, face down, on the table. She rose, icy fingers pressing into her left hip as she smiled.

“Well, while you sort out the rules, I’m going to step out for some fresh air,” 

Bismuth gave her a strange look, but said nothing, turning instead to Garnet. Everyone else was too engrossed in the home rules debate to notice her slip outside. 

The air around her was mild and crisp, perfect for a walk along the shoreline. Despite this, Pearl could not keep her body from trembling once she knew that the shadow of night kept her hidden from the house. Her skin blazed and vision blurred, an overwhelming feeling like she was going to lose every crumb of those three chaps seared her to her core. She didn’t trust herself to stay standing so she sat in the sand. Dazed and terrified by the sudden attack, fearing that the entirety of the world was going to be ripped away beneath her. 

She curled up as she sat, clenching her head between her knees as she struggled to pull herself away from the vortex within. The breaking of waves on the beach, sounding like distant thunder resonated in her skull. She followed that sound from the hiss as it pulled back to the sizzle of tiny bubbles crackling on the sand. From there she picked up the night birds and crickets, the salty tang of the air and slight reek of rotting seaweed, the breath of wind in her hair. Minutes passed as she pulled everything into awareness, settling on the way every minute grain of sand clinging to her skin like a scratchy scab. She felt the weight of her head as it hung, the pressure of her knees on either temple, her breath shuddering in and out of her body. 

Cautiously she unwound, resting her head on her knees and staring out over the sea. It felt as though hours had passed when a new sound entered her conscious, that of heavy footfalls cautiously making their way over the earth. Some sand slid away from her as the visitor sat down, body close enough to feel the warmth radiating off of it. 

“Hey, you doin’ okay, Pearl?” Bismuth asked, gently, “Garnet was sure now would be a good time to check in on you, but I can come back later if you need,” 

Pearl winced, despite the flicker of warmth within, “I’m alright, it was just getting a little stuffy in there,”

“Stuffy, with the windows open? Are you sure you’re okay Pearl? I can get you up to Yellow or call Steven if you need help,” 

Pearl closed her eyes, wanting to shut herself off from that voice so filled with genuine concern.

“I’m sorry, Bismuth,” She whispered. 

“What on Earth are you sorry for?” 

“For not looking more into where you went all those years ago, for Pink, for leaving Uno...I was supposed to be asking you if you were doing okay,” Pearl stammered, panic welling up once more. 

“What are you…” Bismuth started.

“I was worried about you all day! You seemed so off at training. Then I felt guilty for not asking you before you left and I felt guilty for caring so much and I have no idea what is going on but I still want to know that you’re okay,” 

Tears welled in Pearl’s eyes, flooding over before she even had a chance to try to keep them in check. Bismuth’s expression, so full of fear and concern, nearly sent her running. Pearl felt large, warm hands engulf her shoulders, turning her to face her companion. 

“I’m fine Pearl, but that doesn’t matter right now because you are clearly not okay,” Bismuth pleaded, “I can go get someone else if you want, but Garnet seemed pretty certain it was me that needed to come out here and talk to you. So, if you feel comfortable, please, just talk to me,”

Every muscle in Pearl’s body was coiled and ready to spring. She couldn’t pull her eyes away from Bismuth’s. They drew her gently in towards a precipice she feared falling over. She feared what would be seen if she let herself fall, what would come forth, what she would have to admit to herself about what it was she and Pink had for so many centuries. 

“I just don’t know what to do. Everyone else is moving on from Pink and Rose and what she did. Everyone has something or someone and I’m still trying to figure that out,” her words came out slow and quiet, nearly enough of a whisper to be carried off by the wind. Bismuth relaxed her grip on the slender gem, allowing her to turn back to the ocean and stare blankly over the white capped waves. She held onto one of Bismuth’s massive hands, tracing the broad knuckles with her thumb. 

“I can’t stop thinking about her, Bismuth. No matter how many friends I make or new things I try, I just can’t shake her. Pink is always there, waiting. I want to move on, to let go like everyone else, and I thought I had but...maybe it wasn’t enough,” Pearl sighed and rubbed a palm against the gem set into her forehead, “and I feel like such a failure, because I have every reason to move on but, here I am. Stuck with confusing feelings about me and Pink and you,” Her cheeks burned under the blue blush that took over her face.

Bismuth’s face had colored as well. Her dark eyes widened and Pearl could have sworn she could see her companions' mind trying to calculate how to respond. How could she have said that, gone that far, without even knowing how Bismuth felt? 

The pair sat in silence, neither looking at the other. Pearl was completely unaware that she’d left her hand in Bismuth’s, and that her friend’s grip had tightened ever so slightly. Only the static rolling of waves over the sand could be heard, until Bismuth sighed. 

“Listen, Pearl, I’ll be real with you. I always had a thing for you. You never gave up on anyone, and you were so fierce and bold in battle, a real warrior I could be proud to fight alongside. Not to mention your grace, the way you spoke to others with patience and understanding. I was floored by you...but you belonged to Rose, and I respected that. I respected both of you,” she said, a sad smile sneaking over her face. 

“Then I was bubbled, and when I came out I heard all the horrible things she did. All the times she took you for granted or left you hanging for some human, expecting you to be right where she left you when she was done with them. Never once taking _your_ feelings into consideration, even when it was so painfully obvious that you were hurting. If I would have known it all from the start, who she was and all the pain she was going to put you through…” Bismuth closed her eyes and sighed, “but that’s something that wouldn’t have helped, and I have to deal with that,” 

Pearl sat in stunned silence, watching as her friend dropped her hand. Bismuth held them both out and gazed at her palms, as if some answer would suddenly be there, waiting for her. Exhilaration and fear coursed through Pearl’s body, swirling into an intangible mess of color that she was certain she would have sorted out if she were a Sapphire. Being a Pearl, all she could do was wait for Bismuth to continue.

“I didn’t know Pink the way you did. Hell, _none_ of us knew Pink the way you did. Me letting my anger get the better of me...running my mouth about Pink and how she treated you...it wouldn’t help. That’s why I never said anything to you, because how could I truly understand what you went through and what she meant to you,” Bismuth chuckled, ages of weariness giving it a low hum. She glanced over at Pearl and smiled, “What I can say, is that I would never leave you hanging like she did. Whatever she did to get into your head so deeply that you’re afraid to make a move for yourself without her, I wouldn’t do. You’re too special for that, Pearl. Besides, no one deserves that kind of treatment anyway,” 

Growing splotches of daylight warmed Pearl from the inside. Bismuth’s words made sense. Even though she’d told herself the same many times before, they struck the chords differently than when her own mouth uttered them when she was alone in her room. She could feel the affection rolling off Bismuth’s solid form, wafting around her in a way she hadn’t felt in years. 

“Thank you, Bismuth,” Pearl said, taking up one of her hands between both of her own, “I didn’t know it, but I needed to hear that,” 

“You know I’m always here for you, Pearl,” Bismuth grinned, “and it’s okay if you aren’t ready for anything yet, or if you’re never ready for anything. I’ll be okay, no matter what you choose,” 

Her eyes sparked, and Pearl knew just how much weight and truth were behind those words. Though tender, Bismuth was as solid as the anvil she worked on. Her smile was genuine, promising that no matter what they’d remain friends with no animosity entering their daily sparring matches or routines. For once, Pearl gazed defiantly at the face of Pink Diamond which towered over her. 

“I’d like to get to know you the way I knew Pink...no, better than I knew Pink. I don’t want what I had with Pink, I want something better. I want to know myself, and for you to know me too and love me for that rather than my loyalty. I can’t promise that it will happen right away, there’s so much going on in my head and I don’t want that to pull you down too. But I’d like to start...maybe that new bubble tea place could be our start?” 

Bismuth leaned forward and kissed Pearl’s cheek, lips soft and slightly cracked in one or two places. The warmth of it bubbled through Pearl’s chest.

“I’d like that,” 


End file.
